EFT For ANGER Part 1
When someone is angry with you and they raise their voice or send a bitter, angry email, how do you react?
If your response is to lash out, or bottle it up for a while & then get a migraine, you may find this is something you want to look at. Resolving anger is life changing.
What bothers you the most about the situation?
How does it make you feel when someone is mad at you? That is the key.
They don't value you, they make you feel stupid, unloved, rejected, inadequate, and if it is unjustified you may feel victimized or singled out.
When you are caught off guard it is easy to feel defensive if you are feeling hurt, angry or under attack.
What is the physical symptom you feel when someone is angry at you?
When was this frightening to you at a previous time?
Those are all Tappable issues.
I was listening to Gen Kelsang Thekchen the
Monk at the Kadampa Meditation Centre in his program 'Sunday Prayers for World Peace'. He suggested we calm the waves of the ocean and he held his hand horizontally, in order to make our way from anger to compassion. I often see that motion, smoothing the Tsunami of my irritation into calm waters. It is a simple image, but effective.
It is very liberating when you no longer feel quick to anger. There is so much shame we carry for losing our tempers. That is a good thing to tap on as well.
EFT for Arguments Part 2
Here is an example of an aggravating situation & how to use EFT to reduce the anger.
State the situation, how you feel & the rating out of 10.
Karate chop point
Even though my husband spent more money on a new cellphone and we got in a big argument, it's a 10. I am so angry at him....I deeply love & accept myself, and I forgive myself for getting so mad.
Even though he did not need a new phone and I'm the only one that worries about money, I have a knot in my stomach ...I deeply love & accept myself, and I forgive myself for losing my temper.
Even though I can't believe I have to be the responsible one, he is acting like a child, I'm so angry....I deeply love & accept myself, and I forgive myself for getting angry about this again.
On the tapping points...
I'm so angry at him
I am so mad
It's a 10
Knot in my stomach
I have to worry about money
he doesn't care
Really mad at him! It's a 10. I can't believe he did this!
'He doesn't care' would be a key to how you are feeling.
Who didn't care or look out for your best interests, or protect you as a kid? That is a core issue. He is just spending money, or doing whatever he is doing.
It is the old wound that is the problem.
When you tap on that issue, your response, feeling personally wounded, will change and your relationship would as well.
EFT for Physical Violence Part 3
When you are being confronted in an argument, do you feel physically threatened?
When did you feel this way before?
Think about the fear that you are carrying around in your body if this is true for you. EFT is especially effective on all Fear based emotions which is why it is so effective for PTSD.
When I was a kid, there was corporal punishment. In other words, for you younger ones, when you broke the rules, you were sent to the Principal's office and were given 'The Strap'.
That was unthinkably scary. When someone would get sent there & came back, everyone was destroyed with fear. Bearing witness to violence can be deeply frightening.
Many families have similar patterns of punishment. Seeing a family member punished regularly can be as damaging as if it happened to yourself.
Look back at these moments, family violence, school yard violence, things that happened in earlier relationships, can be key places to look.
Access the emotions and Tap. You will quiet them and it will astound you how this will affect your behavior.
These are all keys to undoing your fear response, putting you back in control of your emotions. It's time to move forward fearlessly!
Wed, March 16, 2011
by Sue Young